1.22 Generation 1 finale PT 4 (Final part)
This chapter is Rated R (Nudity, adult themes, and drug use) Also, some parts of this chapter may be extremely upsetting to some people.
Author’s note: Sorry this chapter took me longer then I originally thought. I struggled so much with the wedding part of the story, and decided to shorten it a little which did help me finish it faster. I hate sim weddings with a burning passion! I hope you enjoy the chapter. I’m sorry it’s so long. Again, I’ll be shocked if anyone can actually read the entire thing. Haha!
“You made everything worse. Just like you always do…” I whispered harshly, tears streaming down my face as I sat down on the edge of my hotel room bed, the old mattress sagging underneath my slight weight. The hotel room smelled like old gym socks and dirty bong water.
Twenty five dollars a night. It was hard to believe that this shit hole of a hotel room was all I could afford now, when only a year ago, I had lived in one of the nicer homes in North Port. How far the mighty have fallen, I laughed bitterly, flicking a tear off my cheek, but deep down I knew I deserved it, and much more.
I fumbled into my purse, the loose coins along the bottom jingling merrily, now the only money I had left. Just like ol’ times huh Melissa? I laughed bitterly, the sound harsh and loud in the silence of the hotel room. I pulled out a box of cheap cigarettes, and pulled one out with shaking fingers. I hadn’t smoked in years. David, Melody and Mason’s father had forbidden it, and eventually I had quit altogether.
I lit the cigarette and took a long drag, coughing until my eyes began to water. I took another puff, no longer feeling the burn. I didn’t feel much of anything anymore…
Sucking desperately at the cheap cigarette, I flopped down into the lone arm-chair in the room, and couldn’t help the tears that streamed down my face. Through blurry eyes I noted the time from the ancient alarm clock on the night stand, who like me, looked like we’ve seen better days.
I could picture Madeline in her wedding gown, and the look of pride on my mother’s face. Had she once looked at me like that? Or was I only a source of disappointment for her? A memory she’d rather soon forget? Did Mason and Melody even remember me anymore? Did they even care if I was dead or alive?
I took another deep drag off the cigarette and leaned back into the arm-chair closing my eyes. Ethan. I hadn’t spoken his name out loud in years, but he was never far from my heart. When I told Madeline earlier about her father, I felt as if someone had stabbed me in the heart with a knife, and twisted it. Even almost 20 years later, just uttering his name caused my heart to break into a million jagged pieces.
Fuck my sobriety, I thought finishing my cigarette and instantly lighting up another. I crossed the small space to the mini fridge. I opened it up and scanned my contents. I grabbed at the mini liquor bottles and eagerly downed them one after another. I didn’t care that I would be charged at the end of my hotel stay. Truthfully, I didn’t expect to be alive much longer…
Once again fumbling through my purse I took out a small baggy of cocaine. Even though I had been sober for months, I hadn’t been able to part with it. Using my now defunct credit card I split it into three lines, and quickly snorted them. I stood upright and tipped my head back, and rubbed at my burning nostrils. Soon, the pain gave way to pleasure and I fell to the floor as my knees gave out.
“What have you done?” I sobbed holding my head in my hands. Two months sober. All for nothing. All I could picture was the look on my children’s faces. Through my drug fueled haze, I watched Mason’s young face fill with disappointment, and I saw the look of disgust in Melody’s blue eyes. I had let everyone down, and for the first time in a long time, I just didn’t care…
I was shaking, and shivering. There no longer was any warmth in the room, or maybe it was because my future suddenly seemed as bleak and lonely as it had in the worst of my nightmares…
I crawled across the filthy floor that smelled faintly of urine, the carpeting rough on my knees. I managed to pull myself up into a standing position and flopped onto the sagging mattress. I brought my hands to my face, covering my eyes from the bright hotel room lights that burned my eyes.
Through my tear filled eyes I fumbled once again for my purse and pulled out a prescription bottle of Ambien sleeping pills. I sat up caressing the bottle with my finger tips, like a mother gently stroking the soft downy cheek of her newborn baby. Could I really do this? Did I really want too?
I lowered my head to my knees tears streaming down my face soaking my knees. My life flashed before my eyes, full of one mistake after the next. I remembered Ethan and how much I had truly loved him. The next image that flashed before my eyes was Ethan laying on the ground in a pool of blood, even now I could still hear my screams and the sound of the sirens. I had screamed until my voice had gone raw, and the paramedics had to drag me away from his body kicking and screaming like a hell cat. The day he had died I knew my life and my heart had just turned to ashes, scattered on the wind…
I pictured my children. Madeline, chubby and healthy, the apple of Ethan’s eye. Giving her to my mother was the best thing I could have done for her, I thought. Next came Melody, the baby I had gotten pregnant with on purpose thinking desperately that she could lighten some of the pain in my heart, seeing her father, a man I had never even loved let alone liked, but saw him as my path to a better life. Little Mason came last, two months premature, and we all feared he wouldn’t make it, but he surprised us all, although he had always been small for his age. My heart lurched. I ached to hold my children one last time, to apologize for letting them down, for being a horrible mother, for everything…
The tears came. Great, sobbing gasps of pain that came from deep within, from the place that had once held so many dreams. Dreams that lay shattered and broken on the ground. Just like my heart…
The pill bottle fell from my hand. Now empty….
The sky couldn’t be any more blue. The perfect day for a wedding. I said a silent prayer, thanking god for this beautiful day we had been blessed with. My heart was full of joy for my grand-daughter, and I couldn’t be any more proud than I was at this moment…
“You look beautiful.” I said, smiling through my tears, reaching into my pocket for the small travel size packet of kleenex I had stashed there, knowing that I was going to need them. “It seems like only yesterday I was changing your diapers. Now you’re getting married, and have children of your own.” I took out a kleenex and dabbed at the corner of my eyes. “I’m so proud of you Madeline.” I whispered.
“Thank you…for everything.” Madeline began, sniffling. Wordlessly I handed her a kleenex, and she daintily dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a slight laugh.
“What is it about weddings that make everyone so damn emotional?” Madeline laughed, her eyes still glimmering with unshed tears.
I just smiled and gazed at my grand-daughter, proud of the beautiful woman she had become. A wonderful mother, and soon to be a wife. I really had done alright…
“Come sit.” I smiled, nodding to the couch against the wall.
“I know your mother came to visit. Bless your sister’s heart, but Melody couldn’t keep it a secret. Are you ok?” I asked looking into her eyes wondering how she was keeping it all together when I was a complete nervous wreck. What I wouldn’t have given to see Melissa happy as Madeline was. My beautiful daughter had always been a troubled soul…
Madeline was quiet for a long moment staring straight ahead as if she didn’t hear the question. I knew my grand-daughter well enough to know not to push. She’d talk when she was ready.
Finally she turned to me and smiled slightly.
“Yes, she did. I was going to tell you…” She began, her tone apologetic.
“It’s ok. I understand that you have a lot on your mind today.” I said looking down at the hands that shook slightly in my lap as they always did whenever Melissa, was mentioned.
It was crazy that even after twenty years, even the thought of Melissa could make my heart ache. It was like a wound that had never fully healed and just the mention of her name was like someone pressing their fingers inside a gaping wound.
“I was so angry with her.” Madeline began softly. “At first, all I could think of was how dare she ruin my wedding day. Did she really hate me that much? But I realized that in some small way, she was giving me a gift.” Madeline wiped another tear out of the corner of her eye. “She told me about my father. It was the best gift she could give me, especially on this day.”
“Melissa, bless her heart, never really did have the best timing.” I laughed slightly, my heart aching once again at the mention of her name. Would it ever stop hurting?
“I never told anyone this, I kept it locked in my heart like a dirty little secret for fear if I told anyone, it would make it true. I always feared that Melissa reacted the way she did toward me because my real father was some one night stand off the street, or much worse even, her rapist. But I was wrong. So wrong. She hated the sight of me, because her heart was broken.”
“Ethan?” I whispered, closing my eyes, a sigh escaping my lips. It all made sense now…
Madeline gasped, her green eyes opening wide. “How did you know?”
I thought back to that night long ago, when Melissa came back with baby Madeline. How skinny and desperate she looked, with haunted dark eyes that could rip out your soul. When Melissa fell asleep in her old bed, I had stood in her door way and I had watched her sleep. I’ll never forget how fragile she looked, and the relief I felt to know that she was now safe.
“Ethan was the name she called out in her sleep. I never knew who he was. I always figured he was someone who had hurt her badly, but I never got the chance to ask, because in the morning Melissa was gone…and I never saw her again.” I whispered, holding back the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks.
For the rest of my life that terrible moment would reply itself in an almost endless loop in my head, worse than any horror movie Hollywood could dream up. This was my nightmare, the thing that kept me awake at night.
Madeline stood. “Everything will be ok grandma.” She smiled, and placed her hand in mine.
“I know it will be. My Melissa will come around, I know she will.” I smiled through my tears. I had to believe that. Hope was the only thing that really kept me going throughout the years.
“Now enough of all this sad talk. This is a happy day. This is the day I looked forward too since you were just a little girl. I always wanted you to find someone special, and you have. Mika is lucky, just as you are lucky to have him. You are truly blessed.” I reached out towards my granddaughter pulling her into a hug.
Don’t faint in front of all these people, was all I could tell myself as I stood at the altar feeling out-of-place in my penguin suit. I looked out into the sea of faces my eyes falling on Madeline’s grandmother who held a squirming Aidan in her lap who was reaching toward me desperately. Beside her sat Mason, looking dapper in his tuxedo, holding little Addison who was dozing in his arms.
I stiffened as the Wedding March began to play, and I felt relieved to have my brother Matthew and Madeline’s sister Melody standing up at the altar with me. These past few days had been amazing catching up with my little brother, and to have him stand up for me ment more to me then I could ever put into words.
I should had been sweating in my tuxedo. It was hot for a Maine spring. In the upper seventies, but the breeze coming off the ocean kept me cool. The breeze like a lovers kiss across my face.
As Madeline slowly walked down the aisle, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked radiant, like an angel in white, shimmering in the warm sun. I felt my stomach drop to my shoes and for a moment felt like I was going to be sick. She was too good for me, and I was quite possibly the luckiest man on earth that she was willing to even be seen with a guy like me…
The minister’s voice was nothing but background noise. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Madeline, she looked so beautiful. Her hazel eyes shimmering in the sun, the light making the beautiful orbs into a kaleidoscope of colors. Emerald green, Fierce orange, and blazing yellow. God, I loved this woman.
Madeline nudged me gently, bringing me back to the moment. I had never been one for crowds and being the center of attention, but she deserved more than a quicky Vegas wedding, or standing in line at the county clerks office. I wanted to give her the wedding of her dreams.
I licked my lips and found my voice, focusing on her, and her alone.
“The day I met you was easily the best day of my life. I’ll never forget how beautiful you were. As I got to know you better I couldn’t help thinking of how lucky I was, and how scared I was of losing you. You make me a better man, and every day I wake up grateful for the opportunity to show you how much I love you and our children.” I said, staring into her eyes.
I watched the tears gather in her beautiful golden eyes, her lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. She finally smiled, her teeth flashing in the sun.
“Mika, you have given me everything I’ve dreamed of and so much more. You and our children mean the world to me, and not a day goes by where I don’t feel like the luckiest woman alive. Even if we didn’t have a dime, I feel like a very rich woman.” She spoke softly, but her eyes held mine fiercely.
I slid the wedding band on her slim finger, and she in turn slid the gold band on to mine, the sun glinting off the polished gold band. I covered her palm in mine and stared into her eyes as we repeated our vows in front of our friends and family.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!” The minister said triumphantly as our friends and family clapped and cheered loudly!
“Don’t mind if I do!” I said, and gathered her into my arms amidst the howls and applause…
The open bar at the reception proved to be too tempting for Mackenzie, who was now the only one left on the dance floor completely oblivious that the party was winding down and most of the wedding guests had head home for the night. But Mackenzie obviously was determined to have a good time, and danced like nobody was watching to ‘We are Family’ by Sister Sledge.
From the balcony all I could do was laugh and watch her enjoy herself, and hope she didn’t puke in my car on the way home. Mackenzie was the type of girl who never really knew when to call it quits when it came to alcohol.
I was exhausted, but I was happy for my sister. Mika was a great guy. I hoped one day I would be as lucky…
I heard footsteps softly approaching from behind, muffled by the thick carpeting. The smell of Matthews cologne hit me making me instantly dizzy with desire. Maybe it was the couple of drinks I had tonight, but I behaved myself. I didn’t want to be pegged as the drunk sister who ruined her sister’s wedding. Besides, with Matthew around. I was much to nervous. I couldn’t even eat, and now my stomach was rumbling so loud I could feel the vibrations through my mouth. How attractive, I thought.
I pasted a nonchalant smile on my face and spun around casually, hoping to be the picture of cool calm and collected, despite the fact I was anything but. My palms were sweaty, and I could feel my face redden. Stop blushing Melody, just stop. I ordered myself forcing myself to smile casually. God, he’s attractive, I thought, wondering if he had some sort of spider sense that could tell that I was totally lusting after him. Could he hear my heart beating like a cheap salvation army drum?
“Hey.” I said. “Having fun?” I asked lamely instantly regretting my choice of words.
“I am now.” Matthew smiled at me, his dark eyes twinkling in the dim lighting. I could have fainted. Was he…flirting with me? No. It wasn’t possible. Mackenzie had been all over him like white on rice the entire night, and Matthew had seemed to enjoy the attention. Why wouldn’t he? Mackenzie was a beautiful woman, and I couldn’t blame him for being interested. She was the fun girl who all the guys flocked too, and I was the one they seemed to ignore. Just the side kick, the robin to Mackenzie’s Batman. Just once…I wanted to be Batman.
Matthew took a small step toward me, the smell of him was intoxicating, making my head swim. I licked my lips anxiously, and wiped my sweaty palms down the sides of my dress. I gestured to the dance floor below, where Mackenzie was now doing the Thriller dance solo.
“Your friend…she’s interesting.” Matthew laughed, somehow making it sound like an insult, causing my heart to thump almost painfully in my chest.
“Yeah..she’s really something.” I admitted, smiling up at Matthew and hoping I didn’t have anything stuck in my teeth.
“Doesn’t take a hint does she?” Matthew asked, raising an eyebrow, which made him look even sexier. God, I had it bad. Did it make me an awful person to be totally lusting over my sisters little brother?
“A hint?” I squeaked.
“That I’m not interested in her. I totally have my eye on someone else. Someone smart, even though she tries to dumb herself down to the level of the people around her. She’s beautiful without trying, and besides she seen me half-naked and grinding myself up against her grandma.” He laughed, and blushed, although not to the extent I was blushing. My face felt like it was on fire!
“Oh?” I squeaked feeling my eyes widen. I felt like I was going to pass out. Wouldn’t that be memorable. Fainting and crashing over the railing. What a way to end the party.
Suddenly Matthew stepped forward, and I instantly backed up, my butt hitting the railing. As his lips touched mine, all I could think was, yes! Instant fireworks. I had been kissed by a lot of guys, but never had I felt like this.
It was over too quick, and as Matthew pulled away my lips burned and wanted more.
“I’m sorry.” Matthew apologized looking down almost bashfully. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the bachelorette party. I didn’t mean to pressure you like that, and it’s ok if you don’t feel the same way.” He began to turn away, looking sheepish.
“Wait.” I cried out, desperate. I reached out and grabbed his sleeve spinning him back around to face me.
“Does this answer your question?” I purred, then crushed my lips against his…
“Put me down! I can walk.” I laughed from Mika’s arms. He kissed my nose quickly, his eyes twinkling.
“Nope. Not a chance.” He insisted laughing. “We are doing this the traditional way.”
“I ate a ton at the reception. I must be heavy.”
“You’re as light as a feather.” Mika smiled and kissed me again.
“Liar.” I laughed, then melted as his lips devoured mine.
I felt him fumble in his pocket for the key card to our Honey Moon Suit. I heard a beep that ment the door was unlocked and we pushed forward, our lips never parting even as he set me down.
“I’ve been waiting all night for this. If it was up to me, I could have left the reception early.” Mika laughed as our lips parted. His dark eyes were twinkling, and his lips were slightly puffy from our urgent make out session. I hadn’t felt this way since Mika and I had first met, unable to take our lips and hands off each other.
“Well I’m all yours now.” I purred, my voice low and husky. “What are you going to do with me?” I teased looking up at him from under my lashes.
I felt Mika’s strong arms go around my waist and he tugged at the zipper hidden between the folds of lace of my gown. One gentle tug and I felt the gown slide down my body pooling at my feet revealing my under garments I had worn under my gown in preparation for our honey moon.
Mika picked me easily and I gripped his waist with my thighs devouring his lips with my own…
Mika spun me around suddenly, his skin hot against mine. I felt his hardness press against the small of my back as he rained kisses along my collar-bone and neck driving me wild.
He lowered me to the bed, the mattress sagging slightly beneath our combined weight.
“You are so beautiful.” He said huskily, his breath mingling with my own. He tasted like champagne. I licked his lips, savoring the taste and feel. I wanted more.
I closed my eyes and leaned back into the soft pillow enjoying the sensations of my husbands tongue on my hot flesh. His tongue trailed lazily down my neck, making a brief stop at my collar-bone once again, before finding a home between my cleavage where he lazily nibbled and sucked making my toes curl. I buried my fingers in his soft dark hair and moaned never wanting this moment to end.
I practically ripped Mika’s boxers from his body as he urgently tugged at my corset just as eager as I was…
“I love you.” Mika kissed my nose an hour later after our love-making.
I just smiled and closed my eyes leaning my head against his chest, completely and utterly exhausted, yet satisfied. Peaceful.
We were silent for several minutes, lost in the afterglow.
I thought back to the day I met Mika at the bar in North Port, completely drunk and depressed from my fight with Zoe and Riley. I never thought our time together would become so meaningful. He was truly my best friend, and I couldn’t imagine what my life would be without him. I closed my eyes fighting back the tears as the memories came hard and fast, then smiling softly when I remembered the birth of our children. We were truly blessed, and even though the path to this point had been rocky, I wouldn’t change a thing.
“Mika?” I whispered.
“Hmmm…”Mika mumered sleepily still cradling me to his chest.
I quickly rolled out of his arms and climbed on top of him our naked bodies pressing together like two puzzle pieces.
“Have you ever thought about having another baby?” I asked staring into his eyes as I felt him harden below me.
“I always figured we would some day.” Mika smiled his dark eyes brightening.
“Well there is no time like the present.” I purred, and once again, felt him harden beneath me.
Mika flipped me over suddenly, pinning me down making me squeal.
“I guess now is as good as any to start!”
I was dying…I knew it with crystal clear clarity, deep down in my heart, yet…I wasn’t scared. In fact, for the first time in so long I was at peace. I closed my eyes, numb from the drugs, and felt a tear trickle down my face. My pulse thundered in my ears, getting slower and slower with every ragged breath I took.
I expected dying to hurt. I had read once long ago that it was painful, that the body was ment to fight to survive at all costs. If that was truly the case, then I belive that mine was giving up…It was time.
I thought of my mother, and how I hated to say goodbye. This would crush her. I smiled slightly, even the slightest lift of my cheeks was almost impossible. I wished I could see her one last time, to tell her I was sorry for being such an awful daughter. That I’m sorry that I just wasn’t strong enough to stay here any longer.
My children…It hurt too badly to even think of their faces, but I knew that they would be ok with my mother to watch over them now. They didn’t need me anymore…
I took one more breath and that was it. I felt my body lift and suddenly, I was looking down at myself. My body. The old woman I had become, her body now just a shell of the vibrant woman she once was.
I opened my eyes. Everything was bright. Glorious! When my eyes adjusted to the white light I saw a figure walking towards me with his hand out stretched as if saying ‘Come to me’. Ethan! My heart shouted with joy and happy tears streamed from my eyes.
When I took a step forward and reached toward Ethan I noticed my skin was glowing. I was young again. Vibrant and beautiful. I smiled and placed my hand in his…
My heart soared as his lips touched my forehead so soft, like a whisper.
“I’ve missed you.” He whispered. My heart sang at the sound of his voice.
I felt his hand close gently around my own and we began to walk towards the light together. I stopped briefly, looking back momentarily. I thought once again of those I left behind, and prayed they would understand. I was happy now, and finally found the peace I only dreamed of in life. I was free….
The End of Generation One
I understand that suicide is a touchy and emotional subject for people, and if I upset any of my readers then I’m sorry. I don’t condone Melissa’s actions, nor do I believe that she is a selfish horrible person. I do believe that sometimes when people are hurting so very badly, they just can’t see past their own pain. I don’t feel like getting into a religious debate with anyone, all I ask is that you just accept this part of the story for what it’s worth. It’s just that, after all. A story. 🙂 With that said…I hope you enjoyed the end of Madeline’s Generation and I hope I could entertain you…
This chapter could have been so much longer. You should have seen it before I started editing big chunks out. It would have been more than a 10 K word count! I finally decided to break up the chapter into different points of view to give different perspectives to each character, since I truly belive that this wasn’t just Madeline’s story, but her families as well.
The wedding part was tough. I couldn’t shoot pictures of the guests sitting in their chairs simply for the fact of the stupid 8 sims to a house rule. (And yes I had mods, I just couldn’t get them to work) Hell, with Madeline’s family that was almost 8 right there, let alone their friends! So I hope it made sense the way I did the wedding. 🙂 And if it sucked…Oh well. I hate weddings! Haha. Next time! I’m eloping!