1.22 Generation one Finale PT 3
This chapter is Rated R (Language, and one disturbing scene, and violence.)
Author’s note: Sorry for the length of this chapter. Kudos to anyone who can actually read through it. 🙂
Bright early morning light streamed in through the thin slots between my blinds, even visible through my closed lids. I groaned, wanting to hold onto the last fading remnants of my dream. I stretched luxuriously on top my sheets, like a cat basking in the heat after a long cat nap. My hand automatically stretched out beside me. Instead of feeling warm skin and Mika’s taunt muscular chest I felt nothing but the cotton sheets beneath my hands.
It hit me all at once. This was my wedding day, and Mika wanted to be as traditional as possible, and spend our last night apart before being reunited at the altar. I had laughed and told him that our relationship had been anything but traditional, so why start now, but I could see that it was important to him.
“Mika, it’s silly to be apart the night before our wedding.” I had said the night before, having lost him once, it filled me with anxiety every time he was away from me. Mika had taken my face in his hands and leaned his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with my own.
“It’s just one night. This is important to me.” Mika had smiled at me, his dark eyes twinkling. I had felt my knees weaken like they always did as a result of his lop sided grin.
“Will you miss me?” I had asked feeling an unexpected lump rise in my throat. I had to blink fast to keep the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. I had been an emotional wreck lately, the pending nuptials had been taking its toll on me.
“Every day.” Mika had smiled, than kissed me in such a way that my toes had curled…
The silence in the house was deafening. The twins were staying with my grandmother, and Mason was thrilled to get some time with his niece and nephew. Seeing how good he was with them filled me with such pride that I felt like I could burst apart at the seams. I missed them more than words could say, but I knew my twins were in good hands and were probably being spoiled rotten.
I shoved my feet into a pair of fuzzy black slippers and padded over to the window, lifting the blinds and opening the curtains wide, letting in the early morning sunlight.
Just as the weatherman had forecasted, today was going to be a beautiful day. Perfect for a beach side wedding. I smiled. I couldn’t wait to meet Mika at the altar.
As I stood staring out the window I couldn’t help feel relaxed, and I prayed that this day would go off without a hitch. I watched the sun rise over the bridge spilling the sleepy Maine town in its warm glow, and couldn’t help but feel grateful for the amazing life that I had been given….
Yawning loudly, I made my slow journey down to the kitchen, pausing briefly outside of Addison and Aidan’s room. I held my hand momentarily against their door, imagining I could hear their babbles and coos. I wiped a tear from my eye, and forced myself not to feel sad. This was a day of happiness, and I was determined that this day would be nothing less than perfection, the day that Mika and I were finally to be married, when life had done its best to keep us apart.
The coffee pot on the counter bubbled and steamed, and finally the rich odor of coffee filled up the kitchen making my mouth water. Coffee always had its way of making everything better.
A knock on the door made me jump almost spilling coffee down my pajama clad front. I set my mug down quickly and chided myself for how careless I was. Third degree burns wouldn’t look good with my wedding gown. I looked quickly at the clock and smiled. Right on the dot. I was worried after last nights wedding rehearsal that ran a little late, that Melody and Mackenzie would be a little late, but I guess Melody was taking her role of Maid of Honor seriously.
“Aren’t you excited?” Melody buzzed around my small living room, throwing her purse in the corner along with her garment bag.
“Nervous.” I admitted, sitting on the couch and rubbing my tired eyes, wishing the coffee buzz would hit.
“I can’t wait to get married…” Melody trilled looking extremely sentimental with a far off gaze in her blue eyes. “Getting to be the center off attention, wearing a gorgeous designer gown, with one hundred of your closest friends and family there to share in your happiness.”
“Not exactly helping, Mel.” I laughed. “I’ve never been much for being the center of attention.”
“Just picture everyone in their underwear.” Mackenzie chimed in helpfully.
“Let’s not.” Melody rolled her eyes looking annoyed, and slightly disturbed.
“I’d like to picture Mika’s brother in his underwear.” Mackenzie laughed, setting down the mascara wand and pretended to swoon. “What a hottie. Is he single? Please tell me he’s single!”
“He’s single, but remember guys, you can’t say anything about him stripping at my bachelorette party. I promised him I wouldn’t.” I said biting my lip nervously. I knew Melody could keep a secret, but Mackenzie wasn’t exactly known around town for being able to keep her mouth shut.
“Mika doesn’t seem like the jealous type. It’s not like we hired his brother on purpose.” Mackenzie rolled her eyes.
“It’s not that, its complicated ok? Just promise me you wont say anything.” I stared into her eyes through the mirror as she stood behind me starting to work on my hair.
“Oh fine. I won’t. But put in a good word for me with him, alright? I’ve dated all the men in this shitty little town, and it’s nice to have some fresh meat around here.” Mackenzie grinned at me again through the mirror. She reminded me of a hungry tiger on the hunt for her prey.
As Mackenzie got to work on my hair, I couldn’t help but notice Melody had been quiet, which was unlike her. She sat on the bed her hands folded neatly over her knees with a distant look in her eyes. I know Melody would never admit it, especially since her best friend had just publicly declared her intent as far as Mika’s younger bother was concerned, but I knew that she was interested in Matthew as well. I knew Matthew well enough to know that Mackenzie wasn’t his type. As gorgeous, bubbly and fun as Mackenzie was, the girl didn’t have two brain cells to rub together, and I knew that Matthew was looking for someone who was his intellectual equal. The question was. Was Melody his type? Melody could definitely play the dumb blonde to the hilt, and for some reason seemed ashamed to show how intelligent and kind she really was.
“What do you think?” Mackenzie asked me nearly an hour later, after using what seemed like an entire industrial sized can of hairspray on my hair.
I looked into the mirror and smiled, turning my head side to side slowly. I had to admit, Mackenzie definitely had a knack for hair and makeup. I had never been a vain person, and at times in my life had struggled to appreciate my own beauty, but even I had to admit I looked stunning. Just how every bride should feel on her wedding day.
“I’m so excited for you.” Melody said, her blue eyes filling up with tears.
“Thank you for sharing this day with me.” I felt my own eyes well up with tears. Of all the many things in my life I was grateful for, Melody ranked right up there at the top. She was not only my sister, but my best friend in the world. I couldn’t think of a better person to be my maid of honor.
“You better not ruin my masterpiece.” Mackenzie scowled from the corner where she packed up her extensive makeup kit. She pulled out a kleenex and handed it to me wordlessly. “Here, hold this under your eye lashes, unless you want to look like a racoon.”
I laughed and dabbed at the corner of my eyes sniffing back the tears.
A sudden knock on the door made Melody frown. I watched her strain to look out the window. “I hope it’s not the limo, it’s still a little early to be heading to the hotel.”
I followed Melody down the stairs and watched her pull open the door.
Instantly, I felt as if someone punched me in my stomach. My mother stood on the front porch looking sheepish. Why today of all days? Didn’t I have enough to deal with?
“Mom?” Melody breathed, her face paled, and I felt her tremble beside me. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” Melissa asked looking down at the floor. I couldn’t help but notice right away how frail she looked. She looked like a strong breeze could knock her over. Her once lustrous hair was streaked with grey, and it was obvious she hadn’t dyed it in months. Her natural hair color was closer to Melody’s than to my own, but more grey streaked through the dark hair dye than the blond. I bit my lip, I would not feel bad for this woman. Everything bad that was happening to her, she brought down upon herself.
“Really Melissa? Today? Of all days, you had to visit….Do you even know what day it is?” I asked hotly, feeling my face redden, and my eyes flash.
“I’m sorry.” Melissa whispered looking down at the floor once again, unable to meet my eyes, not that I could blame her.
Emotions swirled inside me like a tornado, bringing me back to the day where I met her for the first time. I had been so excited and thought that maybe, just maybe there was hope to have a real relationship with the woman who had given birth to me. Surely, such a woman who was raised by someone as loving and wonderful as my grandmother couldn’t be a monster? How wrong I was. I remembered how it felt to hear the woman who birthed me tell me that she wished she would have aborted me? Did my life mean so little to her?
“You’re sorry?” I let out a laugh that sounded more like a bark that somehow got lodged in my throat. “That’s it? I’m sorry?” That’s all you have to say to me?” I felt Melody grab my arm, and her presence was like an anchor who brought me back to reality.
“Please hear her out.” Melody said at my side, her face streaked with tears. I felt selfish, of course this was an emotional reunion for her as it was for me.
I stared into my sisters eyes shocked that she was so willing to listen to what our mother had to say for herself. Here was a woman who had made our lives hell, and didn’t give a damn about anyone but herself and her next fix.
“You have ten minutes.” I straightened my spine and looked down at my mother, instinctively wanting to have the upper hand with her.
Melissa followed me to the back yard without a word, and for the longest time we just sat quietly.
“Well?” I finally snapped. “Hurry and say what you came to say, then kindly get the fuck off my property and out of my life.”
I felt her flinch beside me, but I would not feel guilt for this woman. Surely this was all a ruse to ruin my wedding. Could she really hate me that much where she couldn’t bear to see me happy at all?
“I’ve been clean for two months now.” Melissa said, her voice barely above a whisper that nearly got snatched away by the wind that came off the ocean inlet.
I said nothing, I sat on the bench cold beneath my butt staring out over the water. Did she expect a gold medal? Maybe a gold star to stick on her wall chart? Did she really expect that telling me this would make everything ok between us?
“I know…it doesn’t seem like a long time.” Melissa said quickly. “But I’m really committed this time.”
I laughed harshly. “Sure you are Melissa. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“How is my Mason?” Melissa asked turning towards me on the bench wringing her hands nervously.
“You have a lot of nerve asking about Mason.” I griped. “You put him through hell and back. Where were you when he needed you the most? A street corner? Crack shack? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I deserve that.” Melissa said looking down once again at her hands as they shook in her lap.
I said nothing.
“Melody? Is she happy?” Melissa asked.
“She’s fantastic.” I said sarcastically. “Aren’t we all?”
In that second I was that young hopeful girl anxious to meet her mother for the first time hoping that she’ d love me and want to be part of my life, but it was evident that she cared more about Melody and Mason then she would ever care about me. I felt a tear streak down my cheek, and I couldn’t give a damn if it destroyed all of Mackenzie’s hard work.
“Madeline, I can never tell you enough how sorry I am for what I said to you. You have no idea how often I’d repeat that in my head, over and over like a broken record. You must think I’m a monster. There is nothing I can say that will make you understand how it felt to see you after twenty years to show up in my doorway. I knew it was you the second I laid eyes on you. You look so much like your grandmother.” Melissa whispered.
I leaned forward feeling the tears gush down my face hot and fast. I didn’t want to cry in front of this woman. She didn’t deserve my tears, yet I couldn’t help myself. “Why did you give me up? Why could you keep Melody and Mason and not me? What was wrong with me that you couldn’t stand the sight of me?”
Melissa let out a sigh that seemed to echo in the stillness of the morning, and for a moment it was like the world paused with us. Even the birds were silent, and the only sound was the waves that lapped gently at the shore.
“What is the point talking about the past?” Melissa cried. “All it does is bring up horrible memories. It might make you feel better, but for me it brings nothing but pain.”
“It’s all about you Melissa. It always was! Once again, you wont talk about the past because it’s too painful for you. Well who gives a shit? You’ve said all you had to say now leave.” I growled, my fingernails digging into my palms so hard it hurt.
“I gave you up because of your father.” Melissa said finally. My breath froze in my chest and for a few seconds, I was unable to move or breathe, fearful any movement no matter how slight would scare my mother from talking about my father…
“I met your father the summer after I had run away from home. He was so handsome….” Melissa smiled wistfully, her eyes far off and distant. “Like all the kids on the street, Ethan was running away from something. Although what that was, he would never tell me, there were just some things to painful to talk about…”
“Ethan…” I whispered. I finally had a name. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
“I fell so hard for him. Ethan was….wonderful. Good looking, Smart. Kind. The kind of man any girl would dream of having. He saw me for who I really was on the inside. He didn’t see the flawed terrified young girl that ran away from home, no, he saw something in me that I never believed was possible, a good person, someone deserving of love and happiness. Ethan vowed he’d make an honest woman out of me, and even though he was just a street kid, he was determined that he would make something of himself and make me proud of him. But I already was. How could I not be?”
“When I became pregnant with you, I was terrified, and thought surely that this would be the event that would push Ethan away for good, we could hardly take care of ourselves, let alone a baby. But Ethan…he was happy. He couldn’t have been more excited to be a father. We spent hours talking about how we would decorate your room, and what your name would be.” Melissa smiled, lost in her memories. “He was the one.” She whispered. Tears glimmered in her eyes, but did not fall.
“What happened?” I asked turning to face her, and for the first time, looking into her eyes.
“What always happens with my life. It’s like I was never ment to be happy.” Melissa sighed and continued, her voice trembling. “Ethan was determined to make a life for you and I, and would take any job he could to secure our future.
At this time, we were living in a tiny one bedroom apartment in the city. It was such a shit hole, but it was all we could afford, but it was better than a life out on the streets. You were only a few months old, but you were the apple of Ethan’s eye. He doted on you, and at times I admit that I felt so jealous towards you, like he loved you more than he loved me. I told Ethan this one day, and I’ll always remember what he said. ‘The love you feel for your child is different, not better, just different, then the love you feel for your spouse.’ he then told me that it was like his heart doubled in size, and he wondered if it was even possible that he could love so much…”
“A few weeks later, Ethan was coming home from work, and I just had this horrible feeling come over me. It was like I couldn’t breathe, and my entire body went cold. I’ll always remember that moment for the rest of my life, no matter how many times I try to forget.
I left you in the crib and ran downstairs. I didn’t know where I was going, all I knew was that something had happened to Ethan.” Melissa started quietly sobbing. “Ethan was robbed, a few blocks from our apartment. He had just gotten paid, and a couple of guys followed him home from the bank, and jumped him in the alley. When he fought back, they shot him and left him for dead. They killed him for three hundred dollars…” Melissa laughed bitterly, through gritted teeth. Her green eyes full of so much grief that I couldn’t stand the sight of them. She looked up at me, her eyes blazing. “He was dead before paramedics arrived. I never got to say goodbye…”
“I lost the apartment.” Melissa continued with a sigh. “Without your father I couldn’t afford to live there anymore. So it was back to the homeless shelter, this time, with you. Ethan’s child. How it hurt to look at you. Every time I saw your face all I could see was your father’s staring back at me. I know how horrible it sounds, and I know how you must hate me, but I couldn’t stand the sight of you.
All I knew was that I desperately wanted to forget, and I couldn’t do that with you. You were like this…tiny little reminder of everything that I had lost. I met Melody and Mason’s father not long after Ethan’s passing. I felt nothing for him, I didn’t feel anything but hate, and anger. It was like I was numb inside, as if part of me had died. David, was wealthy and completely taken with me and I just knew this was my chance to start over, he was my ticket for a way off the streets, even if I didn’t love him. So I did the only thing I could do. I took the bus home, a place I never felt as though I belonged, and left you with my mother, somewhere I knew you would be safe and loved. I never looked back, until the day you showed up on my doorstep.”
I leaned forward in my chair and for a brief moment thought I was going to be sick. Without looking at my mother, I stood and walked over to the dock rail, and leaned over staring into the ocean, looking down into its swirling depths.
I had always assumed that my father was some nameless John my mother had a one night stand with, and I had even once thought I could have been the product of rape.
Ethan, not only did my father have a name, but to find out he had loved me once, was all that I could bare. How different my life could have been if only Ethan hadn’t been killed…
Soft footsteps echoed over the wooden dock planks approaching me from behind. Her footsteps were hesitant. I found myself angry at her approach. Couldn’t she tell that I wanted to be alone right now? Why did she wait until my wedding day to tell me all this? Did she hate the sight of me this much, to want to see my day ruined?
“If you think that this makes everything OK between us, then you are sorely mistaken.” I snapped. “Just because you were hurting doesn’t excuse what you did, and I want nothing to do with you. You may have given birth to me, but a real mother would never have done what you did to me. Ethan my father, would be disgusted with you.” My words were like a poisonous arrow, aimed to seek and destroy. I watched her face drain of color, and crumple with anguish, but I didn’t care. How could I?
“I’m sorry.” Melissa whispered again and turned and began to walk away.
“Melissa…” I called out. “You did one thing right you know. Your mother is one hell of an amazing woman. She loved me the way a mother should. She may have not given birth to me, but she was my mother. What you did to her was not only selfish, but shows that you have no heart. Talk to her, please. You owe her that.”
Melissa stiffened, and bowed her head momentarily. Then she straightened her spine, and quickly walked away…
The minute my mother was out of sight, it was like I lost all feeling in my legs. I crumpled to the bench where only minutes before I found out about my father and let the tears come hard and fast.
Of all the things I had imagined about my father, I never once entertained the thought that he once loved me. I didn’t even know what he looked like, but my mother had once been a beautiful young woman, and I knew he had to be handsome to catch her interest.
How could you mourn for someone you don’t even remember? No, I was mourning for what could have been. I was mourning for the little girl who never knew her real father, who never got to experience the joy of riding her first bike with her father at her side, cheering her on, and picking her up when she fell off the bike, and urged her to try again. I mourned for the little girl who never got to have her father tuck her in at night, and check under the bed for monsters, and kissing away the tears from her first broken heart. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I had missed so much…
“Maddie?” Melody whispered. I looked up through tear filled eyes, shocked to see her there. Her hair done, makeup applied, and dressed in her bridesmaid gown. How long had I been sitting here?
“Are you ok?” She asked softly, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
“Not really?” I said truthfully. “But I will be.”
“The limo is here…We need to get going. Mackenzie has your gown ready.” Melody said. “Do you want me to tell the driver we aren’t ready? I can understand if you need a minute.”
“No, it’s not necessary I’m ready.” I said softly.
And I was.
I hope that you liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it, even though it was an emotional one. With this generation coming to a close, I wanted to tie up every loose end I could. Madeline’s father being one of those last dangling threads. When Madeline first met her real mother for the first time, she asked about her father, but Melissa wasn’t willing to talk about him, and Madeline assumed the worst about him. It doesn’t make what Melissa did right, and deep down I’m not sure if Madeline will ever be able to forgive, but at least she knows now that her father loved her once, and hopefully that will bring her some measure of comfort.
I’m working on the next chapter now, but sadly it’s going to be another lengthy chapter, with multiple view points, so please forgive me if it takes a little bit longer than usual. I’m aiming for next week, but we’ll see how it goes. Weddings are hard in The Sims, and I want to make sure that it’s perfect, well as perfect as I can manage that is. LOL. Thanks, as always for reading and for those who comment, I read every one with a huge smile on my face. 🙂